Family Dynamics, Karma Drama and Favouritism of One Child Over Another

A few days ago, I was on one of my rare out and abouts and out for lunch at my favourite restaurant. I love sitting outside in the fresh air when I go out to a cafe or restaurant, so I made a beeline for my favourite outdoor table.

There were no other diners in the small courtyard area of the restaurant except for a family who were already seated and who were in my direct line of sight. The waitress took a while to get to us to take our order and as I waited, I observed the small group of souls who made up this family. The family consisted of the parents and two children, a boy, and a girl. The younger boy who must have been about 4 years old was sitting next to his father and the slightly older girl about 7 years old or so was seated next to her mother.


It is always easier for outsiders or someone who is not personally involved to be able to observe a situation and those in it with a heightened sense of objectivity. 

Generally speaking, the dynamics between people are complicated things indeed.

However, when it comes to family dynamics, the term ‘it’s complicated’ is often an understatement. Personality clashes, karma dramas, deep seated issues and ugly undercurrents abound and all this and more plays out very intensely in the confined space of the family home or situation.

It is often hard for those in a family group to be non-attached or objective about each other.

It is usually very subjective, personal, and prone to get emotionally fraught very suddenly. Objectivity if it was ever present often flies out the window very quickly along with human kindness, caring and compassion for another soul that has incarnated as part of a family group.

The distorted energetic dynamics between parents and their children and the imbalance and misuse of power is one that is often particularly poignant and heart-wrenching to observe. One common issue often seen in families is the favouritism of one child over another whether by subtle means or by using blatant bullying methods.


Why do parents treat one child better than the other?

Why do parents or one parent  favour one child over another?

Parents may favour one child over another, for a lot of reasons. 

The child may behave particularly well, have a pleasant temperament, remind them of a favourite relative, look like or remind them of themselves or any other obscure or seemingly irrational reason. Most parents would vehemently deny showing favouritism towards one child in particular however favouritism of one child over another is a very real issue.

Experts tell us the effect of favouritism by a parent toward one child or children over another has far-reaching and long-term effects on the affected child’s life. It goes onto affect that child’s relationship with themselves, with others, with life, with the world and on to affect the relationship with any children they may have of their own.

The issue of favouritism of one sibling over another by a parent or parents is a huge painful subject.

Why does favouritism of one child over another happen?

There are one thousand one reasons why. But to me, the main reason is always found at a soul level, it is a soul issue. It is a soul-to-soul issue and can only really be resolved when we heal and evolve as a soul beyond that karma drama.

Favouritism within a family is an insidious crime against another soul. Its effects leave deep wounds and scars on a soul. I see the pattern of parental wounding through favouritism in an individual’s astrological chart, a pattern that has often affected the soul for lifetimes. 

Yes, it’s a biggie. It is often the root cause of ongoing problems and blocks in the life and is an area that I have helped countless clients to not just deal with but to heal from.


When we see injustice at any level it is never easy. It can be easy to feel powerless about what is happening in the world on so many levels.

I know I could not unsee what I saw in that restaurant. I know that nothing of real value can change in the world unless people change, and that change must happen first and foremost at a soul level.

Taking that situation at the restaurant as an example of how each one of us can play our part in creating positive change in the world, while I could not tell those parents how their actions were affecting their children at a soul level, what I could do (and did do) is do one of my magical eighth ray rituals when I got home. 

Ritual is a very powerful magical healing tool.

Each Eighth Ray has at the heart the objective to purpose good in one’s own world, in the world and in the greater universe. My ritual of choice for this particular family and for all souls caught up in similar dynamics involving favouritism by parents was an Eighth Ray Spiritual Activism Ritual

Eighth Ray Spiritual Activism Ritual is a practical service-based ritual working with the positive forces of change. It is the ‘ritual of revolution’ that works to restore order in the world. This ritual works with the power of the yin and lunar creation power of the feminine and with the power of the divine feminine as the giver of new forms of life to actively change the fabric of the universe for the greater good.

Every ritual must have a magical intent.

All ritual must have a magical intent. Below is the magical intent for the ritual I performed to support at a metaphysical and soul level all children that are experiencing the pain, anguish and injustice of parental favouritism. 

You are a divine child

You are so loved.

You are so special.


You deserve to shine.

Let your light burn bright.

May it awaken the light of love and kindness in others


I see you.

I know you.

I love you.

You can perform this ritual for yourself as well as others – click here to view ritual instructions


In my Eighth Ray Spiritual Activism Ritual I used the following First Light Porta Alchémica® formulations: 

I have also used the Sun planetry anointing oil, Cancer zodiacal anointing oil and Sun planetary incense

Love and Magic 

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Franchelle Ofsoské-Wyber